These tripartite important points I intend to discuss ,here ,as stages of exhilaration in a woman’s lifetime, must not be misconstrued by anyone. It was borne out of my keen observation on some women from my immediate environs and how they have similarly responded to the same stimuli of same circumstances. As a growing young man, I found myself in a position that will always place me on a stead to be on a sympathetic stance for the women. I get attracted to them, not because of any other serious matters, but for their spiritual endowments or proximity to spiritual ” beingness”of humanity. They are so tenderhearted, caring, soft, and loving in their natural disposition.
However, in our patriarchal societies, men have always envisaged and portrayed them [ women] as weaker vessels, objects and oppressed victims of our draconian traditional laws and customs. But, in all these excruciating situations occasioned by patriarchy and its beastly agents, the ” Womanself” still operates unwaveringly as the metaphorical neck that controls the head.
Now, let us get into the business of the day proper. I have observed that the three stages of blissfulness in a woman’s life are :
- When she gets married.
- When the marital union is consummated by child or children bearing.
- When her Spouse dies.
WHEN SHE GETS MARRIED : This is, however, the first stage of blissfulness in a woman’s life. Whenever this stage circle is completed in her life, she begins to add up more flesh and grows robustly and plumpy. At this stage, she refers to her age mates or sometimes, her elderly ones as ” younger” ones because of her new status. She is now in a state of perpetual bliss as her challenges in life would be taken over by her husband or surrogates. If you are a doubting Thomas , pick up a picture of any woman in her wedding day or the eve of it and juxtapose same with a new one taking some months or years later . The difference will always be CLEAR. Her present mood of relaxed mind and peace makes her to grow so robust and looking more attractive than before. During this time out, all her feminine accoutrements remain very promising and obviously seeable by all admiring eyes.
WHEN THE MARITAL UNION IS CONSUMMATED BY CHILD/ CHILDREN BEARING : This second stage of blissfulness becomes effective when she lives up to her expectations of producing children earlier in her marital union. She needs to prove a point to her in-laws and peers that she is ,indeed, a fruitful woman who can produce children to cement her new found relationship. She is not a MAN, after all! Better still, if her offspring is a male child, Oh greater Heavens!, her husband and his people must accord her a more comfortable pride of place in their heart of hearts for giving their brother , an heir! Here, all the delicacies of ” Omugwo” prove themselves. She eats whatever that is her choice and as such, grows more and looks much more pretty to her admiring eyes.
WHEN HER SPOUSE DIES : It is important to note, that this third stage is the MOST IMPORTANT and ranks highest on any scale of measurement. How does it manifest? SHE IS A FREE BEING OR DEITY AT THE MOMENT! When you look around the wives of your departed uncles, nephews or other extended family relations at home or neighbourhood, you will begin to appreciate what I am about to state clearly in this article. At the time , their husbands were alive, they seem to look haggard, untidy and uncared for. But the few months the unfortunate man dies and is buried, my comrades at pens, you will see her change her entire wardrobe and dressing patterns. They begin to look younger than their real ages and to favourably compete with Sweet Sixteens in every ramification. You see them look smart, gorgeous and cutely dressed always. And this nauseating development makes me to begin to wonder, COULD SHE BE CELEBRATING THE ADAM’S DEPARTURE? . She will always wear a smiling look, appeals to her new admiring eyes more and looks appetising too! Why did she hide these beauties away from our departed comrades? Indeed, this is her happiest moment in life!